There are times when I mess up things. Okay, I mess things up all the time. But there are certain times when I blame it all on realizations and convince myself this: had I not known thaat, the world would have been a much better place. 8 things that always make my list:
- When I tried my hand at baking. I am quite an all right cook and so I assumed that baking will be a literal cake walk. I was wrong. Long story short, my brother refers to my baking expeditions as ‘Her Thousand and One Epic Failures’. I know, he is a poet 😦
- Each time I look up my bank statement. I really could have gone without the facts. It’s now impossible to unknow that tiny number (at least until the next pay check).
- That the bed I have slept in since childhood was once accused to be haunted. Yeah, I came to know the story only very recently. A guy was supposedly murdered (framed as a suicide because he was found hanging in his room) above this very bed. His furniture was sold in an auction and my grandfather bought it at a bargain price. It was always a normal piece of furniture until my father narrated the story of how we came to own it. Definitely knowledge that I could have done without.
- Some supposed-to-be handy tips. Be it writing, cooking, DIY projects, sometimes I try to cram in all the tips that I gathered over time and the result is disastrous. I end up wishing for a time turner.
- The story of Jack the Ripper. I cannot shake off the feeling that this guy is lurking in my room with a hammer ready to knock me dead. Happens all the time I wake up from a nightmare and imagine shadows moving in the dark.
- Knowledge of the most sinister illnesses and symptoms! I easily panic thinking that I may have caught it and walk around with a heavy heart for a few days until I forget all about my morbid disease. The more ignorant, the happier I am.
- The story of my great grandmother who smashed a little viper with her pregnant belly. She was heavily pregnant and one morning woke up to find that beneath her belly was a dead poisonous snake. It was assumed that the snake never got a chance under the weight of her swollen stomach, a fact attested by my great grand mother and grandfather being alive. Lucky them but a gruesome tale! The occasional magazine or pencil under the blankets worry the shit out of me…
- Hollywood horror movies! Growing up the only horror stuff I watched was in Malayalam and they all featured a female ghost (or was that ghostess?) pursuing revenge. She only murders the villains and was never interested in the innocent ones who happened to be in the movie plot. Thanks to this, I happily snored in my (haunted) bed imagining that no ghosts will waste their time on poor me having never plotted any murder. (The time with my brother doesn’t count because I never got around doing it). But Hollywood ghosts destroyed that notion with their decaying skin and ugly nails that kill everybody around without any logic.
Hey ghosts, calling you ugly doesn’t require capital punishment, okay? Chill! (Just in case…)
I used to be much happier being clueless. Ignorance is bliss!
What are those things that you wished you had never known? Share a story???